danette's sneak peek

I think Ms. Morgan should be a model!

Collin's 1st Basket

1st Basket at an official basketball game!  The season is almost over, and Collin did it today!  All season long he's been good at passing the ball and wouldn't even think of making a shot!  His coach always tells them to pass the ball so Collin's been doing that and I don't think it ever occurred to him that he can make a shot if he was close enough to the basket.

Today it was so fun to see him make the run for it three times, and on the third try, he made that basket.  Kevin and I were so excited, and so were his coaches.  I think he's learned how to be more aggressive on the court and has made some good friends along the way.  Next week is his last game.  Collin chose to play soccer again this spring - so until next winter!

Tooth Fairy! and other things about Miss Allie

Boy I haven't blogged about Miss Allie for a while now.  So I was thinking of her and all the things she's busy with lately, and I realized I hadn't written about those important things!  Like for example, her latest lost tooth - can't forget that!

Allie's tooth had been wiggly for a while now.  On Tuesday last week, she and her friend Macey tried to pull it out before we left for tennis.  It was wiggly alright, but the tooth was holding on like crazy.  On our way to pick up Ellie and Emma, Allie's tooth fell out!  She was so glad.  We were in Grandma's neighborhood so she went in and rinsed her mouth and little tooth.  That night I had gone out with some friends to dinner/movie and when I got back home, she had her tooth in her tooth box, all ready for the tooth fairy to come and get.  I stole it to take pictures of the tooth.

Then in the morning she discovered $1 for the tooth and said someone at school got $5 lately for a tooth!  (What's going on with the going rate for lost teeth?  Our tooth fairy only gives $1 tops.)  I told her $1 was awesome for a tooth, after all, that was a lot considering that it took a bunch of chores to make $1.

Speaking of chores...the improved family economy is working still, and Miss Allie has earned a few $$.  She now knows how to enter transactions in a check register! 

One day she was at Fry's with me and wanted to buy something extra with her money (not good food), so I asked if she brought her checkbook with her.  She said no, she didn't have time to grab it, but that I can pay for it and she can pay me back.  Sounds good right?

But the plan is to teach them responsibility and definitely not encourage impulse buying.  So I told her next time she needs to remember to bring her checkbook if she wants to spend her money.  Arrgg! was her reply, but I bet you she'll remember next time. :) She's a little nervous about writing a check too, she said.  That's a good thing, I guess!

Here's Allie at tennis.  She loves tennis practice with all the girls!  It was a fun thing to watch, those girls and the tennis ball.  Maddie calls tennis "hooper ball" and the racquet a "hooper".  

Dear Allie has gotten so much better at remembering her list of to-do's.

And getting really good at playing the piano.  Last Christmas, she memorized Carol of the Bells (which I, with my limited piano abilities, found a little tricky to play the first time and still haven't memorized).   Now she can play quite a few good songs and started playing from the hymnbook.  She is good with practicing without my help and loves her teacher, Mr. Heck, who comes to our home every Tuesday and has taught her some good techniques.  I got her on video playing the piano, but somehow that video (although 2 months old now) hasn't made it from the mino to my computer.

Allie loves a great playdate with her girl friends, and today one of the videos they made around last Christmas cracked me up.   She is growing up way too fast!  Sometimes she tells me she wants to be 9 all the time, and doesn't want to get older, and I wish time won't go so fast and she'll always be 9 too (sweet age!).  But what's to come is probably going to be fun ride.

Collin hit his head...

and tells me it hurts.

Just a second ago, he asked:

Mom, do you have a cold piece of steak?

me: no, why?

Collin: that usually makes it feel better.

I think I remember this scene from a movie we watched recently,  just can't recall at the moment.  Had to take a break from website testing to write this up before I forget.  Funny.

Valentine's Week

Valentine week was great!  Monday Allie cut out paper hearts for our "Heart Attack".  We each wrote what we love about each family member then "attack" the kitchen with it (okay, not ALL over,  the leprechauns on St. Patrick's Day are the only ones allowed to "attack" my kitchen.)  My all-time favorites:

This one cracks me up, but oh so true.

And this...I didn't think I washed dishes that often, but I guess I must.

Wednesday I came home from walking and found our yard and front door also "heart attacked" by the Activity Day girls.  It was very cute.  I saved the hearts for a few days, but sadly didn't take one photo.

Saturday Allie babysat while Kevin and I went for an early dinner date and quick shopping at the mall.  She did great, and I loved being able to spend time alone with Kevin.  It's my out after a busy week with kids and everything else I find myself busy week.

Then on Sunday,  we exchanged Valentines.  I made pink pancakes and pink eggs, and Kevin whipped up some yummy strawberry smoothie for our Valentine breakfast.   It's a fun tradition!

Collin was so giddy about the fun Valentine cards he had made up for everyone.  He could barely contain himself and I asked him to settle down and he said he just couldn't because he was so happy.  What a funny kid.  Allie made us some sweet valentine's too, like she always does, and she and Collin spent the early morning hours putting their finishing touches on the cards in her room.  Maddie just wanted to eat suckers, she probably unwrapped at least 10 of them that morning. No kidding.

Valentines. Another fun tradition I like is exchanging love letters. Last year Kevin gave me what is now a tradition - ABC's of things we love about each other. I tried it this year, and I have to hand it to him, it's hard to come up with an entire different list each year, and this was my first year doing it this year and it took me a while to find words from A-Z.

13 Years ago, Kevin found out that my favorite roses were white (he had his cousin ask, I knew something was up :)) and gave me 2 white roses.  Every Valentine's he tries to get me white ones, and this year he did again.  They melt my heart.  Our very first Valentine's date was 13 years ago and every year since has been quite a great adventure.

While we were cleaning up, Allie suggested that since it was Valentine's Day maybe we should stay home from church.  And so I told her that Valentine's Day is quite a perfect day to NOT miss church, because at church we learn of and about the greatest love of all.  She got it and got dressed super quick, helped Madster get dressed, too.  She's an awesome big sister.

After church Grandma and Pops & Chad and Megan came to dinner and we all enjoyed a yummy steak and this very special dessert Pops made (I had to take a picture to remind me how good it was - it chocolate flan with dulce de leche and pecans on top).  Megan was going to make cinnamon roll cookies (sounds divine!) and we just got to visiting, playing the wii, and were so full we will have to HAVE it next time!  My mouth is watering just thinking of it.

I love the crinkly nose!

Happy Valentine's!

this little light of mine...

Last night the kids asked to read the "Why" book and I loved being able to listen to them talk about things.  Like music choices and TV show choices.  While we were talking about music and the importance of picking songs with good lyrics, Collin commented that church songs have good lyrics and this little light song did too.  "oh, you mean the one we learned at music class," Allie says.  Yeah, that was the one.  You know, the one that goes, "this little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine..."

I asked Collin what that meant and he said it meant that we should be good examples and never let our light blow out.  So I asked how can you help it from not getting blown out, because the adversary will always try to.

And to that he said, "I'll just say, No, thanks, I'm not gonna let my light blow out.  You're a brick!"

Well spoken, coming from a lego fan.

Then when we were talking about bad shows and how some of them lead people to think they can have kids even though they're kids themselves, somehow our conversation turned into how they could possiby be good parents.  Collin says, "Watch the real parents."  That was short and profound.

Collin has a good heart.  He really does.

"Nice" and "Mean"

So tonight while we were finishing up dinner, somehow my teaching preschool came up.  So Allie says, "so you have a job AND you stay home?"  Kind of.  But my main job is to be a mom.  And all the rest of the other stuff I do are just side things I do because I like to do them and that I love being their mom.

Allie, being so sweet, tells me that I was the nicest mom in the whole world.  Awww.  Just as I was thanking Allie for the nice words, Collin interrupts and says as a matter-of-factly, "But sometimes you're the meanest!" and takes a bite of crispy honey chicken (his favorite).

And so I asked him what is it I do that makes me the meanest mom in the world.  He replies rather quickly - "oh you know when you ground us."  I explained sometimes nice Moms have to be "mean" and ground their kids when they need to.  It's my job. And what if there were no rules? Wouldn't be good, they agreed.
 
As in earlier today:

House rule #1.  Pick up your toys.  Do not leave them out for Mom to clean up.  That means you lost them and will have to earn them back somehow.

Collin calls the loss of toy privileges "grounding".  This morning, he was a LOT disappointed to learn that I cleaned up lots of Legos last night.  He knew what that meant.  No points. No Legos.

He earned them back, but not after spending a whole BORING afternoon without his beloved Legos. He thinks it is rather mean of me to take them away.  Around 4 p.m. he came to me and asked if there was anything he could do to earn them back.   "Yes, of course", I replied, "go finish your chores for the p.m. and make sure your clothes are picked up".   He went to work lightning fast!  He is so obedient he didn't touch his Legos until after he was done. Even though the Lego bin stared him in the face on the floor in the toy room today.

Tonight I went to check his room and it was a funny sight to see - his clothes were not on the floor, they were hung up on his shelf,  jam-packed as can be (we're talking 4 pair of pants, a bunch of shirts, pajamas, shorts, a sweater all on 4 hooks and in between).

I laughed.

I am  "nice" and  "mean" - I take that as a compliment.  I'm a mother.

Some clarifying ...

So on the savings/checking accounts I was talking about in the previous post:

These two accounts are separate.  Most (if not all banks) do not allow checking accounts for kids so the checking account is really just an account you create for the purpose of paying them their reward (aka "family bank", does not have to be a real bank account - we are the bank).

All you need for this is a check register and then write their beginning balance at the top of the register.  Each child has to have one, otherwise we wouldn't be able to keep track of any ins and outs.  As far as the checks are concerned, I think the whole idea is to use as realistic a check as possible.  So, for us, the kids will be using old checks (from old accounts we no longer use).  The only way I found to get their names imprinted on a check is to order checks from an account you opened yourself, add their names to the face of the check (the second optional line used for joint account holders) and then close the account if you have to.

Now for the savings account - the kids each got their own account.  They were so excited to get one and felt "older" signing papers at the bank.  We will match (a percentage) for every $1 saved.  The savings account is for college/mission/car.  Allie's already thinking of ways to spend her new money, and we have to keep explaining that $ in her savings account is not to be spent on things other than the big thing/s she is saving for.  She doesn't like that!  However, $$ in her "checking account" can be cashed or used to purchase anything she wants (within reason, of course. We still have rules, like, no hamsters, or other new pets).

So to recap:  Each child has a savings account (real) and a checking account that draws $$ from your own newly established family bank.

Financial Management 101 for Kids: Our Family Economy

We have been rehauling our "family economy" system since the beginning of this year and here is a brief description of how we are trying to teach basic financial mgmt to the kiddos. Mind you this is pretty new, but so far has been effective for us.

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The old system: give allowance at the beginning of each month (equal to kids' ages), make sure they are doing their "normal jobs" (chores that they do not get paid for) during the week, and 2-3 Saturday jobs.

Why it didn't work for us:

#1 - The kids didn't care too much if they lost their allowance. I kinda had it set up where they lost their allowance if they do not follow-through (keep leaving their bedrooms dirty, not picking up clothes, toys). One of my kids decided it was worth it to lose the allowance so he/she didn't have to pick things up/put away stuff. Except when there was something she/he wanted. Then a bad case of the "gimme's" followed.

#2 - They still did their Saturday jobs and their normal "unpaid" jobs (i.e., make bed, do homework, practice piano, etc) but they needed constant reminders and nagging, bribing, etc :), which I would rather not do.

#3 - I also didn't like the paper job charts, and the kids really didn't really take good care of their charts - it would help to have a board of some sort to display them on (I didn't).

So to this method's credit -- I think it could have worked, because I know someone who does this and it works perfectly fine for them.

Why it worked: The kids have gotten used to having chores they are responsible for on Saturdays. And that they couldn't go and do fun stuff until chores are completed. I found out instead, that friend play-dates are very effective tools to getting those chores done FAST.

Allie saved $13 to buy her new betta fish, Squirt, and his needs.

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Improved System (sorry, long post!):

1. Get job charts for each child.

We use myjobchart.com to organize our chores (divided up into day and night chores, extra, weekly, every other week, only on certain days, etc).

For each chore completed, points are earned (my call). Example, 5 points each for "make bed", "loading own dishes in the dishwasher" and I assigned higher points for things they struggle with or I want them to do longer and more often without nagging - 15 points for "practice piano", "practice sports", "read scriptures".

Before school in the a.m. and/or before bed, I let them log on to their own page (myjobchart gives each child their own "chore,extra chores, and rewards" pages) and check off what they did. This is what Allie's and Collin's look like respectively. It only takes less than 1 minute to do, and the pages are so cute, and even claps for them when they click on "I'm done." Click on the screenshots to see it bigger.

Collin's chart (for today only, tomorrow's looks similar, but there are other jobs that may be different, depending on how I set it up)

Allie's chart

Some of our extra chores:

What I like about this online thing is that I don't have to make all these cutesy paper stuff that my kids don't also care too much about, and if I need to add "extra chores" or one-day project deals where they can earn extra points, I can do it in less than a minute. This could really be helpful if you had say, 6 kids you're trying to do job charts for. You'll just have to go check out My Job Chart to see for yourself.

So now that we have our job charts and points squared away, here comes the money-teaching part. I am using ideas from the Values Parenting site to do this part:

2. Open up savings/checking accounts for each child.

Need: a checkbook for each participating child (a real checkbook with the child's name imprinted and with a check register).

We are starting them off with a small amount in the bank. Every Saturday afternoon (end of the week for our job chart system) is payday. Here we get to hand out rewards. There are lots of rewards to be had in each of their stores (personally chosen goals), and one of them is $$ for every point earned. Should they choose the $$ reward, we will credit their account (they write it in their check register) and they can see their money grow. And just like our family store, they will set aside $$ for tithing and savings.

Important: Pay does not come in cash, but by a debit entry in the child's check register, initialed by a parent (we've got a sneaky kid).

Then here's what happens: The child can then take out as much as he wants by writing a check (or he can bring along his checkbook when he goes shopping with a parent, and write out checks for what he wants, always being sure to deduct it in his check register before writing the check.) The check goes to the parent, who then pays for what the child bought.

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Some cautions (from Values Parenting also):

1. What you don't want is to create a disproportionate focus on money or to make your kids into little mercenaries who respond to every request with "how much will you pay me for that?"

Be careful to make it clear to the child that the family economy applies only to a limited number of things. It is just a little family economy to help share some of the tasks and to help kids have their own money to buy their own things.

2. Don't do too much reminding. The whole idea is to have a system that polices and motivates itself.

3. Don't "rescue" them all the time, or bail them out. The hardest thing is to let the system work. If they spend all their money on Saturday and don't have anything left when they want to go to a movie with their friends, just say you are sorry, that you have made the same kind of mistake yourself, and hope they do better budgeting next week. If they spend their money on a too-expensive name brand, let them figure it out themselves. If they ask for a loan, tell them it's not that kind of bank.

Really letting the economy unfold and develop is the key, and not expecting some kind of magical quick fix. Biting your tongue and letting them make decisions is hard, but remember that the whole idea is to learn from mistakes made now while the stakes are small. Give a little advice now and then, especially if they ask for it, but remind them that it is their money and their decision. (This does not mean, of course, that you can't have rules about things they cannot buy.)

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This is in a nutshell is our family economy. :)

Resources to read: The Family Economy

Apporines

After eating her bowl of rice krispies with milk, Maddie asked me for an apple.

Maddie: Can I have an apple please, mom?
Me: Oh sorry, we don't have any. But I have some nectarines. Would you like some?
Maddie: uh - huh. I want some appo-rines.

It made me smile.